Trump for Pope!

Match Made in, ah., Someplace

There’s no doubt whatsoever that The Unrev. Donald John Trump should be elected Pope as soon as possible. For starters, he clearly has the morality of any good Renaissance pope. He isn’t unmarried, it’s true, and he isn’t officially a Catholic.

But since when have any rules or laws applied to Trump? He’ll jump at the chance, once he realizes that the job is for life, that he is head of state as well as a religion, and he can wear all sorts of gaudy red robes. Plus, anything he says has to be regarded as infallible.

I do not want to hear from any Roman Catholics who think this suggestion is offensive. The Associated Press found that 54 percent of them voted for Trump, so they were overtly complicit in doing this to us. Plus, their religion is All About Suffering, so they should love this. There is one potential sticking point: Vatican City has no golf courses, but the church is about ripe for a new Crusade to acquire some.

By the way, few realize this, but we have been given a new proof of the existence of God. He protected Pope Francis, who seems to have been far too good for the job, from having to meet with that ultimate scumbag, JD Vance, in his last days on earth.

I just can’t wait to see who Pope Donald John picks for his altar girls.